BLURZ-A POEM CALLED "FRAGMENTED MEMORIES"

 My Life has come down to one thing? Abandonment! "IT ISN'T SO!", is what I'd tell my self. And every day, I'd lack ability. To let myself see, to really see, wouldn't matter what anyone else sees in me. I see my face, Despicable, but no, not so! And my repulsed response of what I had became, came back, haunting me, fragmented visions of my own face despising my own self, casting spells.....on my own self, hoping that I shatter to microscopic pieces. Feelings brought on by the realization that I could NEVER BE WHOLE AGAIN! And that's the past me. And then dwelling in the realm of the unthinkable, I slip, slide, and suck myself into the vortexful dark realm of self pity. I'm lower than dust! At least dust is a particle, and that being a particale, the Universe needs dust. THAT'S HOW I FELT! Does any morsel of this existence even want me, or care? I'm nothing, and its torment, eternal torment. Mind Freaking, Soul depleted, the only ones I'm visible to are demons, and they want me, fiending. FAITH! Holy cow, faith...I still have faith(sigh of relief). I'll suffer for eternity than turn to the devil(THE BLUR VINCI CODE). And thru my self-seeking righteousness I've entered seemingly never ending human being immobilization, to self-pitied martyrdom suicidal death wished eternal damnation, to metamorphosized, rebirthed phased, to Reborning by the GODZ Resurrection phase.......Completed????? RELIEF!!!!! I MADE IT!

A "BLUR POEM" called "4EVA, NEVERMORE"(5/16/2013)

"4EVA, NEVERMORE" - Good Friday, as was Friday, as is Friday, as Friday could, as is, could be, as ever was. CAN'T DEFEND! No defense against a Broken Heart! I've been left vanished, as if I've become fog. MY LOVE MOVED ON! and I died. MY SKIES FELL! I yearned for death, as my eyes filled with watery agony. MY BELOVED MELANIE-NOOOOOOOOOOO! The unknowing premise of being a Human being. Why are we here? If what's it for, if its what's it for, if its for its may fare? From out from the Blue Heavens we must reach up. TRUST! But when Cupid came to us both, He reached back to pull out his first arrow, shot me thru my heart, BLOODY, went to reach for his second arrow for my beloved, AND IT WAS NOT THERE :( Left Lost in Love with Love Lost - 4EVA, NEVERMORE!

A "BLURZ OLD POEMZ" FROM 2006 CALLED, "SIMPLY PUT"

"SIMPLY PUT" - Feeling a scared! Nervous, fading into the minutes. Clocks ticking, buggies cricketing, head lights passing thru my window shade flickering. Eoooow! TO MUCH! Feeling like a vampire flung into the Sun? A dying breed. And to what? To what, I slave? Time running out. Running? Ticking, spacing, EXPANDING????? WHAT'S THE TRUTH? We all seek! One either seeks, or remains asleep. Wake or perish? Bout the clouds still float. Without or with, The rains still drop and drip. I once knew a boy who was seemingly invincible, died and became, invisible, to rise back up from the ashes with an invisibility cloak, plotting the day to be visible to the whole World-when the World is ready!!!!! THE PARADOX: Thru death, we became *FULLY ALIVE*(The Power of Contrast). The message was O' so clear? Throw away all fear(LOVE ALL)(BLUR VINCI CODEZ). Be a Ninja in the dark, for in that such a place, all that can be seen is light(energy). DO NOT FEAR THE DARKNESS! EMBRACE THE LIGHT!

A "BLURZ OLD POEM" FROM 2006 CALLED "FORWARD BACKWARDS EXPRESS"(Phillip Proses)

 A mind that can not sit still. But still, feeding into these visions ill distilled passion thrilled drills. To reach a point of imagined unreal, still, pushin forward to break the seal, burdened by life's strife, bled from the Samurai, drained of fight, a blades un-flight, night without light, and yet, I still can't win, AFTER ALL THAT'S HAPPENED? Why make happenings happen, when all that's happened is happenings regardless of trying to stop things from happening? An against the grain up current revival of an archrivaled system unbridled????? And in the face of bare witnessing your own murder, horror filled gaspsess of excessive air, clusterphobic????? Defining definitions undefined! Mumbling words as I walk endlessly to my death. But if known, my words shall never rest! IF SHE'D ONLY'VE KNOWN WHAT SHE'D OF BEEN TO ME, AND NOT'VE KNOWN WHAT SHE IS TO ME? death of my heart.....and Time stills reelz on, continuumed. Onward March! Homeward Bound-HEAVEN! no worries! A TOAST! to pain. My only lonesome friend I know toooooo well. A bell toll that sounds to often. A familiarity without a family. An unbreakable friendship for the friendless. But Time has changed! And change happens effortless. So release control, if you ever hope to gain control. And the curse of Free Will will become a *GIFT* when you give it BACK to the *GODZ*. So what are you waiting for? Stop living backwards and hop on the Forward Express.

A BLUR POEM FROM MAY 1ST 2006 CALLED, "ERASE MY FEAR"

Dedicated to the 17 year old Girl erased off the face of the Earth due to doctors false mistakes.(that's what it says)

"ERASE MY FEAR" - Crazy days are well passed entering the insane, as I try, I lay in awe of the Mercy The GODZ have had on me, and the Life taken from One whom've never done wrong. So where do we go from here? Lost in Fear! Why do I have to feel, all these things I wish I could just erase? Can you see me clear? :0 ERASE MY FEAR! Why do you throw chances at me, glanced at, than deflected because they came at me to fast. I can't Believe what I've seen. And yet, thru my Death I still breath enough to scream, NOTHING FEELS RIGHT! To be thrown away with endless pain, GODZZZZZZ, EXPLAIN! So where do we go from here? Lost in Fear! Why do I have to feel, all these things I wish I could just erase? Can you see me clear? :0 ERASE MY FEAR!

BLURZ OLD MINI POEM CALLED "FANTASY"(from 2006 Seafield Inpatient Drug and Alcohol rehab)(Phillip Proses)

"FANTASY" To Me, I Create all that I see before me. I See, that everything is make Believe. TIME, is thrown upon me, but will not effect who I really be, SPIRIT ME! So in the land of make Believe, laugh and smile at everything you see.

BLUR: MAY 9TH 2006-WALKING MY STINKY DOG KING THRU THE DARK WOODS WITH HIM AS MY EYES, I FELT A DEMON, AND GOT SPOOKED

I can't believe I found this in a rhyme, I was blasting Linkin Park in my headphones, really intense(sober too-heehee), and I remember trying to face my fears of this world, and my dog got really spooked, hair raised-SO FREAKY SCARY! It's a mini Rhyme of a spring day back then, but I see the part with my dog. Hope you enjoy.BLUR

Sitting around more relaxed than ever! Careless, a spring of tide washes over the beach, expanding my mental, taking care of my dental(?what the?heehee).......Pigging out! Put the mindset in overdrive, nervousness depleted from it's usual effect, which feels GOD SENT, from overcoming an illness of constant stabs to my chest. A feeling, lost in Time. of Hopefulness returning, With candles burning? Speaking a different language, of a culture, not mine? Becoming Me(BLUR).......As poetry pours from the T.V., I drown myself with dining all night, as laughter took my sighs sight, I wonder how much longer can I put up a fight?........Walked my best friend(my dog KING)as paranoia sunk in. But still the night takes the fear, but twas the day that brought its return. Un-frightened of Nature, in the dark my DOG LEADS ME HOME, as the music reigns pure,,,,,,,,till another day!

BUGGED.......OUT! WHAT THE FREAK? And what about speaking the different language to a culture not mine? E.T.'S?

BLUR: A RHYME CALLED 300(like the movie) THAT I WROTE IN HARD TIMES WHEN I WAS IN FLORIDA LIVING ON MY OWN, STRUGGLING, AND POSSIBLY COMPLETELY INSANE?

Intro: We who are about to die, SALUTE YOU!

Too Peace, I'm out for war, the war's been waged, the blood and the gore, telling folk lore, to go and F%$K yourself, you are minor, I'll pound you out like a baby elf. The World ain't gonna end, this ain't over, can't you see that BLUR's obtained the four leaf clover. Ready to wage war on the globe, close your eye's visualize thru earlobes, explode, onto the scene the dreamer comes mean, extreme, when I can't sleep I hear voices scream, saying help me, souls fade around me, but I am protected cause the angels they surround me, boldly, go least where unexpected, taking giant leaps, but still so reckless, effected by the earths magnetic fields, my field of dreams will reign supreme when my soul reams, screaming out loud, pain strikes, kaplow, reevaluate your mental state, slow down, now speed it up, don't act corrupt with your fisticuffs, we ain't out for war, but we gotta be crushing bluffs,

STILL REMEMORIZING

ALONE, IN THIS, ALONE: A crummy rhyme from Seafield South Hampton Drug and Alcohol Rehab years ago? 2006 BLUR

 Blur says he wants to be alone. He says he does not care at all. But what can Time consume this time? A man with nothing to lose! So would you stand still? And let the pain pass by? No tears, because your Souls to dry? So can't you stand alone? And do just like you need to? There is no time to lose, because you've already lost, and can not be found at all. So you stare out blindly at "THINGS" you can't possibly understand, and never shall. And as the agonizing journey unfolds, as poetry drips from every pour, you reach acceptance of thee end.

BLURZ "NUMB LIKE A ZOMBIE" RAP SONG LYRICS BLUR(pHILLIp pROSEs) WEIRDEST RAPPER

OLD RHYMES:OUT WITH THE OLD-IN WITH THE NEW

 INTRO: there was a Time, in My Life! When I was Numb. This goes out to that time!

CHORUS: Numb like a Zombie, I'm soaking it up like poppies(heroin) SORRY! I'm living a Life so Blurry, hold me down, Life's so scary. Run like a centipede, I hide away when I'm so Lonely, pick me up, can anyone see me, hold me down, life's so scary.

Verse 1: Gotta let go of the past, if I can not, It will catch up fast like Flash. If I could just rewind the tape, It's A.D.H.D. so I'm far to late. Digging in my brain for a Genius, zenith,

CHORUS: Numb like a Zombie, I'm soaking it up like poppies(heroin) SORRY! I'm living a Life so Blurry, hold me down, Life's so scary. Run like a centipede, I hide away when I'm so Lonely, pick me up, can anyone see me, hold me down, lifes so scary.

I'll be buggen in yoo face like a ninja, I will singya, eat your babies for dinner. I'm insane and I've got the proof, my files so large it goes passed the roof, and it doesn't stop there, I will produce a terrorist scare, just from my stare, out my dungeon, off the ball and chain I can barely function, heart rate pumping, writing scrolls on the bowl, don't need to thaw, I'm just to cold, leave me alone, I'm just kidding I feed off of hate, I'm a new breed leach consuming my fate,

I don't have full memory yet of my old rhymes-they comen back

BLURZ "This is a Story" Old Rhyme with many F-Bombs(the F-word, the F-word) GOD you can't be to careful with the word bomb, can ya

OLD SONGS: OUT WITH THE OLD-IN WITH THE NEW

(CHORUS) This, this is a story. This this is the story of a mess! This, this is a shorty. Sure to leave your brain in a mess! This, this ain't no fable, I'm willing and able to fu(k things up! And I am stable, stable enough to self-destruct!

My Life is fu(ked up, can you relate? Can anyone out there relate for goodness sake. I'm alone, I'm in this on my own, much less preferred, throw a dog a freaken bone, generosity unknown. But I gotta keep my head up high, high as the fu(ken sky, WHY? Cause if my chins down low to the ground you can kiss my @SS goodbye, cause I'm not good with choices. I'm not the sharpest tool in the shed. And I lost my head, to many times probably left it back in special ed? But that doesn't mean I'm dumb, doesn't mean I'm scume, just means I'm to fu(ken numb. To numb for your attack, leave you flabbergasted ya'll better run. I'm not thru having fun, does of insanity, in by the ton. But I want to change! But change ain't cheap when you are a psycho bum?

(CHORUS) This, this is a Story. This, this is the Story of a mess! This, this is a shorty. Sure to leave your brain in a mess! This, this ain't no fable, I'm willing and able to fu(k things up! And I am stable, stable enough to self-destruct!

I'm a drunk, I'm a druggie, zoned like a mummy, and I failed sobriety. So many stints in rehabs, jails, and psych wards that I should win an emmy. I'm my own worst enemy, 4 of me quadruple personality. I'm not pulling your chain, I'm fu(ken deranged, this boys just not sane. Lokk at me, who's the maddest of em all? Mirror, mirror, mirror, fu(k you, I got balls. Gained them from pain, strolling thru hell. Acid in the brain from my days in a cell. Oh well, my brain swells, night-sweats, remember back in the day I use to blood-let.

Don't have full memory yet

BLURRY VISSIONZ RHYME(BLUR-pHILLIp pROSEs)still rememorizing-I've been thru some shit-Cut me some slack!

Blurry Visions, stepping in to cause a collision, on the television, that's where I plan to be, Viacom, broadcast, infiltrate, GLOBALLY? This is what I see, don't blame me, must be one of them "whatchamacallits" DESTINY? This Wizardry, keeps hitting me, how I survived, I'm Alive, it's a Mystery. Quiz me! On the skills like Kill Bill, my name is Philly Prozak and I don't need a pill, I don't need chill, I'm about to snap, I'm gonna rap till my spat is zapped, or brain splats! BLUR the Ghost! Brain is toast! Fried yolks, but the stem is stoked, I take notes.

STILL RE-MEMORIZING