August 1st, 2006 - Journal
Hot as hell, trapped in a cell, oh, what the hell? Does anyone have bail? I'm in hell! My veins on my head, swell, and I don't even care. PAIN? What is it anyway? It's only brain waves. Keepin me stuck in this maze feeling crazed. But, anyways, head thataway>cause I'm confused.
vocabulary - Just freestyle
August 1st, 2006 - Verbally Capable To Hold The Crown(yeah right-one syllable wonder)
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It's fucken pouring out.
I know I went the wrong route.
So I scream and shout, "THE DEMON WON'T LET ME OUT?".
So I pray to the thunder clouds.
It rains, and it pours.
While the sweat pours from under my scars.
Leaves it looken like the goals are just, to far.
Not up to par.
In this game I'm just to sore to open up any doors.
Praying on all fours.
Life Is CRAZY!
Visions Hazy!
Confusion clouds the mind, but never lazy.
Outside it's hazing.
I should be out in the rain, getting reigned on.
Rapping, I'm leaving hell.
Hope to be packing it up to find a new place to live.
Just hand me the mic.
Fiending to walk in on dykes.
I speak from the soul of this 40oz.
And after I speak I'm gonna hafta fucken bounce and smoke an Oz.
Of Dro.
To be at my show.
I'll be feeling the flow.
Of words that cold as snow.
#1. Block out every obstacle you face; hecklers, doubters, haters. BECOME! Don't hesitate bourders? It's up to you.
Battle>opponent, using words as fists.
August, 2006 - Poem called, "NEGATIVE SELF SPEAKING"
(I'm)You're nothing but an addict. Real pathetic. Eye's blackened, bagged from stress and static. You can't hack it. Since age five, plagued with nervousness. Poverty strickened and penniless. Family dysfunctions got you feeling merciless. Bounced around from school to school, didn't pay attention, now who's the fool, YOU(me)! Choice! <a sad, sad, song> Making them all wrong. 25 years old, been losing far for to long. A loser, I am! An everything "bad" abuser. An outward blame, accuser. Stressed and mental from being a psycho. Darkness consumed and numb from failure toons. Isolated, from self hatred, torn apart, and bruised. No friends; frustrated, No girlfriend, no Love, alone lonely in my lonesome room. Stuck in my own mental prison, I'm the warden, judge and jury, and why can't I get me to let me out? Grim Reaper will surely show up soon. Many times other, he had. A mommas boy that can't take care of his own, SELF! Masochism, really scared, you are MENTAL! Health? Parents divorced, your life got worse. Try to pray to the cross, "Please show me remorse." From this storm.
<RHYME JOURNAL NOTES>August, 2006.
<NOTES>When am I gonna see if I can survive the hard times? The ones ahead of the ones behind...
<NOTES>Now I sit here, disgusted. Want the right to end this fight. Another sleepless night. Gotta end it(life). But not until life begins(never give up). GOD forgive my sins. *REPENT* Let me win... Help me, so I can help you... I'm no fool, I'm just fatally bruised, heart blackened and bluend.
<NOTES>So I'm here to gain. Tryen to just maintain. I pray throughout the rain. Rain keeps me sane. Need to work on this brain. And I seek a rush. An adrenalin rush, till I see my blood gush. In the mirror, I blush. Right and write, I don't give a fuck. read and read, gain more knowledge, I need it!
FROM THE YEAR 2002: 21 years young, son. Worked hard for these guns, son. Corny birthday song, sung. But you will have fun. If you got a girlfriend and friends, hang 10. You're the man with the master plan in ya hand, wave the wand, cause you're fearless, and you take stands. You be drowning in a sea of protein, you are, "a protein fiend". No longer a stick twig teen. Got protein, fats, and carbs on your team, and in your blood stream. Supreme, lean. Working hard on them dreams. Hit them weights with a mean gleam....... Best friend, my gift to you? In your backyard, it's a protein laying hen. So drive your benz to that gym in the sky. Never ask why? Don't cry. I'll see you at the gym, goodbye.
So let me feed on it? It's my ultimate weirdo chip of pure, raw, genius. Just let the phrases rip, so it's so real, people will feel this shit.
Thanx for reading, these are some really insane, negative, profane writings from 2006, now it's 2013. I've changed, fully *Reborned* by *The GODZ*, got my soul/self back - BLURrrr
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