I'm losing my mothafu(ken mind, but it all ways feels lost, but at least I'm the boss, that pays the ultimate cost.
I got goals, but none of them are complete.
I need Hip Hop insight to make my rhymes tight. My beats suck cause my keyboard is ghetto.
These beats, nobody has them, I know, cause my keyboard is from the 70's, yeah, the 1970's baby.
Yo, besides.....my rhymes BLOW!
My writing skill obviously sucks. And I do give a fu(k, which makes life suck even more. More than I feel it has to. I get tired of trying, was unsuccessful at dying.
Man I can feel my ADHD, and when my brain doesn't function, I feel like I'm flunken.
I'll keep trying...
it don't work out right.
Fu(k rhymin! Fu(k rightin(I know, I spelt writing wrong). I wanna be the best, wit out putting in work effort. I CRAVE SKILL! Want people to feel that I'm ILL. But mentally...I am ill.....But Fu(k It, being alive, I'm stuck with it. My soul's torn to fu(ken bits, but fu(k cutting a wrist; No Suicide(ever).
I'll deal with the muthafu(ken hell that I created. Why should I fu(ken care? I'm Stuck Here! If you felt my pain you'd be in tears. Fu(k drinkin beers, Fu(k getting high, cause I'm living to die, punch someone dead in their eye, just to crack a smile because I'm becoming more wild. It comes with the territory. Try To Test Me. Cause I'm a crazy muthafu(ka with nothing to lose.
A Rhyme Called, "NOTHING TO LOSE"(oh boy?)
Nothing to lose, but a lot to prove.
Aiming towards my goals, got to find a grove.
Forever strive to improve.
I want lethal Karate skillz.
I wanna be rich, cause I crave power(oh boy).
Hate when motivation turns sour.
But I push fourth cause I'm no coward.
Mutha fu(kas wanna put me down!
Wanna make me frown!
But hand to hand, pound for pound, gonna take the crown.
Push ya down.
To da floor.
Wit da tour of war.
Cause I read Sun Tzu, and I'm NO fool.
Yall be knee deep of blood in ya own pool.
Like I'z said, "I got nothing to lose, and a lot to prove."
Gonna beat the odds, use all my tools.
Cause odds been stacked against me, for so long, but now I see, three steps ahead of me.
Can't let my own madness get the best of me.
Gotta stick to the plan.
Discipline is my only friend.
Cause I'm sick of having no-thang.
Break-it-down, man.
(oh boy)means: I see how far gone and worng I was back then.
(11-1-2013)ONE DAY THIS WILL ALL MAKE SENSE! I have to show how far gone my soul really was, the rawness, and the pure essence of harsh truth to reach the hopeless, needs to be shown the intensity of how hopeless I was, so I apologize for the profanity, but it's the only way to show, word for word, where I was and how faith has brought me back from the pits of hell, lost, dead soul=REBORN
BLURrrr
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